yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
