why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
