It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
