wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
