its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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