Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
third nipple confirmed
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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