used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
