Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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