you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
