saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
