The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
