If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The air taste purple.
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