Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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