..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
