You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
