it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
