I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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