ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize