I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
