I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
