it was like fucking gandolphs beard
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
