do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
