On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
