I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
