Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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