Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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