I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
