You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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