I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well I just put wine in my tea
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
