Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
