Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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