You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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