we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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