weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This baby is an asshole
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
