That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
