If that was your dad, he is hot
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
