sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
