i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
