How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
