I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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