hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
