hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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