Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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