I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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