i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
