The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
