I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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