Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
