I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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