my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
