did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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