Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
