He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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