I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
