Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
